Two Jesses Present— Duel Decks: Trump vs. Clinton

On November 8th two warring factions will battle for supremacy, and if the wrong side wins, it could mean complete planar annihilation! No, it’s not the next Magic set, it’s the US presidential election! While your vote may not count (unless you live in Florida or Ohio), you can recreate the excitement of this contest of titans at your kitchen table with Two Jesses’ Duel Decks: Trump vs. Clinton!

nutrump

Jesse K: I went with Numot, the Devastator as my stand in for Trump, and the similarities are more than orange-skin-deep. Numot is red, white, and blue. He wants to attack. He loves destroying foreign lands. He’s even got an almost Trumpian hairdo. Another close consideration was Child of Alara, since it’s a giant baby that wants to blow everything up, but I digress. Now let me whisk you away to a world where all your cards are perfect 10’s and everything is foil (except basic lands, which are all gurus).

Card Choices

Building the Wall

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We’ll start with the core campaign promise that catapulted Trump to the national stage. Building that wall! We’ve got a selection of Magic’s finest walls to secure your border and make sure the game goes long enough for your commander to do his damage. For perfect flavor, I recommend attempting to get your opponent to pay for them.

The Supporters

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There aren’t actually all that many non-wall creatures in the Trump deck, and that’s by design. Without the commander himself, none of this really functions and it’s almost impossible to win. Still, it wouldn’t feel right to not include his most important ally, Anger. It’s also the card in the deck that most resembles our man.

The Hands

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His hands are big and beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with these options for removal or card filtering, and there’s no problem anywhere else either.

Climate Policy

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Our commander already has a theme of land destruction, so I thought it would only make sense to supplement this with a handful of flavorful spells that double as descriptions of what will likely happen to America in the result of a Trump presidency. Impending Disaster? Decree of Annihilation? Catastrophe? It’s like I’m reading a newspaper from the future! Furthermore these land destruction spells work well with the sub-theme of resource denial (Propaganda, Ghostly Prison, War Tax). Take away their ability to pay, then punish them for it. Doesn’t it feel good to be a Republican?

Immigration

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When our opponents summon creatures, they’re bringing abilities, they’re bringing triggers, they’re demons. Some, I’m sure, are probably good creatures. We can’t let little things like empathy, decency, or common sense get in our way, that would be totally against theme. This deck deals with creatures by sending them back to wherever they came from, and makes it harder for them to make it into play.

Race Relations

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One of the defining features of the Trump candidacy has been the racism, both implied and explicit. On top of drawing from Magic’s significant history of appropriately named cards, we’re also making use of anything that makes things worse for non-white creatures. This seems like as good of a time as any to remind you to never, ever vote for Donald Trump.

Foreign Policy

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Remind me why we can’t use the nukes again? In this Donald Trump theme deck, you can and should! Highlights include a copy of Might Makes Right that is almost always impotent in our deck.

Prime Real Estate

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I tried to pick out only lands that Donald Trump would approve of, which means no beautiful natural features, but lots of towers. Also acceptable: military buildings and signs of the devastation he has wrought. There’s also a minor land theft theme, because of course there is.

Riches and Treasure

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Did you know that with this deck you can always start with a Turn one Sol Ring? If your opponents complain, just remind them that it’s a small loan from your father, and really you would’ve been fine without it. The Trump deck gets ahead on mana (and in the world) with a variety of expensive sounding trinkets and baubles. Diamonds? In. Signets? Sounds too foreign, no thanks.

Business Skill

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Magic and Donald Trump have something in common; they haven’t paid a cumulative upkeep since the Ice Age. With business skills like ‘taking things you didn’t pay for’ and ‘bullying’ you’re sure to succeed in any multiplayer game. I can’t stress enough that the proper way to play this deck is to cheat on costs constantly, to ensure you have no trouble getting to the requisite 8 and 9 drops.

And a Trick up the Sleeve

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It just wouldn’t be a Donald Trump deck if we played fair, would it? While I admit that Mox Lotus is a ludicrously expensive and impractical choice for this deck, it’s also the yugest and classiest artifact I can imagine. And if you somehow get it into play (I recommend not paying for it) you can combo it with War Tax, and none of your opponent’s creatures can ever attack again! An endless war that it’s impossible to pay for? Where have I heard that before? The cherry on this flavor Sundae is the fact that it’s the 100th card in the deck. Of course The Donald wouldn’t be content with 99, it’s gotta be bigger than everyone else’s.

Commander-in-Chief by Jesse T

Creatures (52)
Other Spells (12)
Lands (35)
Commander (1)
Buy this Deck

Jesse T: She may not be the hero we wanted, but she’s the hero we’ve got. Soon America will have it’s first she-president, which apparently means that in another 8 years we can look forward to watching a debate featuring two men avoiding questions about whether women’s lives matter. That’s why my general is another strong female leader, the Sliver Queen.

Children & Families

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Does the original Mother of Runes bear a certain resemblance, or is it just me? Like American folk hero Vito Corleone, Hillary Clinton’s first priority throughout her political career has always been family. My deck theoretically pumps out an army of slivers, and offers them a little bit of protection, if you get my drift.

Stronger Together

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Slivers may love to share like communists at the unemployment office, but some are better at it than others. I hate it when I need to draw my Might Sliver, and instead I topdeck the one that forgives all my slivers’ student loan debt. Two thirds of my slivers don’t even have a college degree! The working class needs +2/+2, clothes, and shelter.

A Lifetime of Experience

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Of the two candidates running, Clinton is certainly the one with job qualifications of any kind whatsoever. Prior to being Secretary of State and a US Senator, she practiced law in Arkansas. This is where Accumulated Knowledge would also go if it were playable in EDH.

Shapeshifters

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Like any professional politician, Clinton takes on whatever form she needs to get ahead. Family is her top priority… as long as your family doesn’t live in a country we’re bombing. She’ll regulate banks and corporations… unless they’re contributing to her presidential campaign. Who knows what’s going to happen once she’s in the White House? I’ve never met the woman. I just write about Magic cards on the Internet.

Race Relations

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Do I smell a Magma Sliver, or is that the hot sauce in your purse? Clinton has often been accused of pandering to Black voters, but displaying utter disregard is probably much more accurate. She must be the only person who regrets using the word ‘predator’ more than Wizards of the Coast circa 2013.

Lesser of Two Evils

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That lifetime of experience doesn’t come without a catch. Clinton’s supported coups in Latin America, Zionism in Israel, and tougher law enforcement policies against people in her own country. Her track record is almost as bad as the things Trump actively promises to do if elected.

Secret Emails

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Those poor emails! Won’t somebody please think of the emails! Their bravery in Benghazi won’t be forgotten, although to be honest, I have a lot more respect for emails that don’t get deleted.

Candidate of the Status Quo

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Bernie couldn’t stop her. The Green party never stood a chance. All you dope-smoking green mages and counterspell nerds apparently didn’t get the memo. This is a two party system: A, B, C ya later. Let’s make America about the same again!

America’s Top Diplomat

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As a lifelong politician and a cunning adversary, Clinton has shown a commendable degree of patience and restraint with the inept circus of petulant children that is her competition. Hasn’t she proven her worth? Doesn’t she deserve to have a real debate against someone who knows what they’re talking about? Just keeping a straight face throughout most of the election has been an act of diplomacy on her part.

The Only Real Choice

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A decision between Trump and Clinton isn’t a real decision. We’re all obviously voting for the normal, competent person who isn’t threatening to put Muslims in concentration camps or whatever. Nothing’s going to stop global warming from purifying the earth in an apocalyptic deluge, but at this rate, we might be able to get the liberal government to spring for some life rafts. I’m not particularly excited, but with Hillary Clinton, there’s a sliver of hope!

Thanks for reading, folks! If there were any obvious jokes we forgot to make, feel free to mention them below. Be sure to come back in two weeks for our review of Kaladesh if the US hasn’t devolved into civil war by then.

You can find Two Jesses on Twitter @TwoJesses.

 
  1. Since when did this become a political site? Obviously you guys have no business speaking about politics because your ignorance is shocking. I was hoping to at least see you making fun of both candidates evenly. I have no problem with making fun of the candidates because neither are ideal, but you guys just made yourselves look foolish. At least come up with good arguments besides “We’re all obviously voting for the normal, competent person who isn’t threatening to put Muslims in concentration camps or whatever. ” I can’t believe you guys were allowed to post this on a MTG site. I stuck with this site for a long time even after losing Marshall and Simon, but I will not longer be supporting it.

  2. @anonymous — Thank you for your thoughts. As editor here, my 2¢ are as follows: First ¢) This is a humor piece and not intended to be a closely-argued takedown of any political candidate, so the charge of ignorance seems to me a misfire. Second ¢) As far as journalistic neutrality goes, I think there’s a common misconception that it implies every major viewpoint in a debate or discussion is to be given equal word count for pros / cons. (CNN even seems to think this.) On the contrary, I think that journalistic neutrality and integrity imply giving every major viewpoint in question a word count it deserves according to its worthiness of evaluation and critique. One of the candidates in this US Presidential election found a way to seem much worse than the other despite — and I quote perhaps the most damning line from the above piece about the party for whom you claim it is biased for, “Like any professional politician, Clinton takes on whatever form she needs to get ahead. Family is her top priority… as long as your family doesn’t live in a country we’re bombing.”

  3. I agree with Anonymous. I will no longer be supporting this site, and will ask my friends to follow suit, based on this clear partisan political hit piece against Donald Trump, a candidate who most certainly did not mess up the world today as did the other candidate, and is not a criminal who jeopardized highly-sensitive and classified top secret information. Next time try this crap on HuffPo where the liberal SJW dimwits don’t know any better.

    Reading PlanetWall’s polemic response that confirmed our suspicions is equally troubling. He is long known to be a highly partisan hack, and uses his moderating power akin to a Nazi in order to bully the non-PC and expunge comments of which he disagrees. I won’t be surprised if he deletes my post actually. But hopefully those of you that read this will remember my comment, and his censoring would only reinforce what I have to say.

    This is the last straw. MTGO Academy – you are a disgrace. How much is the Clinton Campaign paying ol’ hippie Walls? Hilary is as crooked as Wall’s toothless grin.

    Regards,
    Saibod on MTGO

  4. Hey ya’ll, just want to respond to the controversy a little bit here as one of the authors. This piece was not intended to be a hit piece, but a humor piece, and I do feel like we made fun of each candidate with enthusiasm. I mean, we talked about Hillary’s issues with race relations, political entrenchedness, even the e-mail scandal. We even compared her to Vito Corleone! I’m not sure what scandal we didn’t touch on or what Magic card we could’ve put into the deck that would’ve been an adequate takedown, but we welcome your suggestions. I’d like it if people upset about this responded in-kind, with jokes. Maybe Vitu-Benghazi. See, there’s another one for the anti-hillary people.

  5. To the audience, please pay no heed to Jesse K’s response, rife with blatant lies, distortions, and the laughable claim that the piece was not meant to be a hit piece and each candidate was skewered equally.

    Let me quote from the article itself:

    ‘One of the defining features of the Trump candidacy has been the racism, both implied and explicit. On top of drawing from Magic’s significant history of appropriately named cards, we’re also making use of anything that makes things worse for non-white creatures. **This seems like as good of a time as any to remind you to never, ever vote for Donald Trump.**”

    In addition to the lies levied against Trump (asking to stop ILLEGAL immigration is not racism), pay attention to the last sentence where the author deliberately and solemnly claims, as direct and clear as a day, to “never ever” vote for Donald Trump. That seems pretty strong for a piece you claim to be humorous, huh Jesse? Am I still reading a magic article when I’m being directed to never ever vote for Trump?

    Look, the staff of this website clearly have an agenda. Don’t deny it – embrace it. We are not idiots. It was also amusing to see how, in an attempt to quell outrage, PlanetWall’s response read like another anti-Trump rant when he proclaimed in not-so-subtle terms that ‘one of the candidates found a way to be much worse than the other”. In effect, defending the increased skewering of Trump relative to Hillary since, as Walls said, he deserves it by being so much worse than the other. By trying to defend the piece, you overtly state the piece’s (as well as your own) bias – great job genius.

    Sickening on all accounts – the article itself, the moderator response, and author response. I come on this website for Magic – not a Hillary rally where she can lie through her teeth about her email servers. Want to save face? Offer an apology to the MTG community that you deem as ‘deplorables’.

    Regards,
    Saibod on MTGO (feel free to contact me)

  6. yea I agree with these comments. lets be honest, this website has turned into a toilet bowl ever since all the good writers left like marshall or simon, and i see why they did so. who is left? “dr. pauper” who refuses to write articles but rather posts vid of himself playing the most banal unoriginal decks in 2-mans and losing? wow nice content.

    seeing the moderator/editor post a comment essentially admitting to the article’s bias and supporting it because trump is “much worse than the other” is actually too much. this website is a sinking ship and i won’t support it anymore.

  7. Although I am biased against Trump, the deck I built for Hillary is much worse than Jesse K’s, so I feel like it kind of evens out.

  8. Big shocker above me!

    No not really Jesse, we could tell that you (as well as the editor who admitted it) are very much biased. Nice political hit-piece on a gaming site.

  9. Wow you folks need to relax. It’s a humor piece and these guys are not journalists. Besides, I would bet most magic players are pro Hillary, as our critical thinking skills are above average.

  10. Well, genius above me, maybe your critical thinking skills could lead you to understand that the “humorous” article was clearly biased, rife with misrepresentations and lies (Trump wants to put people into a concentration camp – so funny!) overseen by an admittedly biased crooked editor, and the fact that your candidate, Hillary, is under a new investigation by the FBI announced recently. Hillary is the only candidate in presidential history to be investigated by the FBI during her campaign not once, but twice, and her widespread pay-for-play corruption has been widespread and documented for decades.

    But this article isn’t political at all. Or biased. Nope! Just good ol’ fashioned MTG fun!

  11. Trump will be in court next month for fraud charges and the month after for child rape charges but hey no wait you guys they found some emails on someone else’s computer that Clinton didn’t send that may or may not have relevance to anything!

  12. Didn’t realize Trump fans could be such delicate snowflakes. Perhaps the Jesse’s needed to put a trigger warning at the beginning of the article?

  13. @ Siranon

    Glad you’re discussing politics on a MTG site. I’m sure this was the author’s intent – sparking political debate on a gaming site. Oh yes, and we all know Hillary Clinton is completely pure, free of controversy, and no corruption. Neither he nor her husband were mired in court issues. Just a tip: there are no wikileaks on Trump playing with state secrets, nor is Trump investigated by the FBI. And downplaying the importance of the disclosure of top secret information in an unsecure manner betrays your ignorance.

    @ Anonymous

    Actually, it is more amusing that Hillary fans like you get upset and triggered at the thought of espousing for neutrality – namely, not being biased toward either candidate, let alone keeping politics out of MTG. Funny how Hillary supporters need institutional bias to get what they want – just ask Bernie. The tolerant left strikes again!

  14. @Siranon

    I posted saying that politics has no business on a MTG site, and at the very least, the article’s heavy bias is disgraceful and unwarranted. You posted in favor of the bias, and even defended the bias by speaking about some crazy irrelevant and frivolous charges against Trump. If you do not understand this distinction, you are even stupider than I first thought.

  15. I am the original poster. I am glad to see that my comments got some support. Whether you support Trump or not is not even the issue. The problem is being downright nasty about it. I don’t mind making fun of both sides. I don’t care if you support hillary. The writers made it clear that they felt there was only one way to vote. “A decision between Trump and Clinton isn’t a real decision. We’re all obviously voting for the normal, competent person who isn’t threatening to put Muslims in concentration camps or whatever.” This is a quote from your article. How is this funny? It’s blatantly ignorant and basically saying anyone voting for trump is a racist and incompetent. There’s no beating around the bush or sugar coating what you meant. Once again, all 3 of you guys make comments as if your way is the only way. Maybe try to be respectful to other people’s opinions. I don’t get on MTG websites to listen to political talk whether I agree with it or not. If you guys were nice and actually funny about it, I would have never commented.

  16. To Anon, original poster, above me:

    100% agreed. Furthermore, what is even more sickening, is how people who completely miss your point about neutrality, about not saying completely inappropriate things on a gaming site like anyone who votes for Trump is racist and incompetent (and pretending this is humor), or to never ever vote for Trump. Furthermore, the comments section devolves further into pro-Hillary people that attack Trump who miss this point, an editor who allows this and admits bias, and an author of the original article who admits bias as well. Very telling, and very sad.

    Honestly, this site has become a cesspool as of late, and this is a good example. I expect some of the “tolerant left” ignorant commenters to completely miss the point and attack Trump, but the editor and authors should know better, and offer an apology, and take out this miserable unfunny article written by smug hipsters who likely spend their small weekly paycheck on soy lattes at Starbucks every day. I will no longer support this site as long as the editor PlanetWalls is as crooked as his teeth.

    Saibod, on MTGO/reddit

  17. No, crooked toothless editor, I am not the OP, nor am I Donald Trump himself – shocking, I know. Perhaps if you knew how to properly check IP’s instead of grasping at straws desperately with lies, you’d see that.

    However, great choice dodging the issue of the article’s bias with snide remarks, and deflecting from your admitting of the bias by saying it is because one candidate is much worse than the other. You’d make a good political operative and make Hillary proud. If you get fired from being a feckless and useless biased editor with no computer skills, who is not interested in impartiality on a gaming site, nor has the courage to address the topic at hand like an adult, fret not – I hear Hillary will have a vacancy soon for a new aid, given that Huma is not reliable anymore.

    Saibod, MTGO / Reddit

  18. Planetwalls, I assume you are trying to make a joke, because Saibod is not me, the OP. As funny as you think you are, it’s really pathetic how you have not addressed the situation in a respectful manner. Your site is already declining fast and you are willing to lose multiple viewers over something like this. Neither you nor either of the article writers wanted to address the issue at hand. Everyone is allowed to have their opinion, thats fine. It’s your site, you can let whomever you want post, but why would you let someone post something that alienates at least half of your viewership. Maybe you, along with the writers, assumed no one would ever support anyone but Clinton, so you allowed it. Now, as you can see in the comments, only one guy sided with you. Maybe more will chime in, but the bottom line is youve shown your true colors. I don’t expect either writer to apologize for the blatant rudeness towards people who they disagree with either. I have plenty of friends who are clinton supporters, but they never say anything to suggest only idiots would vote for trump. Also, once again, this is a gaming site. Why bring politics into it and upset a good portion of your audience?

  19. @ Anonymous

    Sad thing is, I don’t think he is joking. Here, I’ll say it – PlanetWalls is a known piece of shit and liar, and if there was any accountability at all, an admittedly biased and rude person wouldn’t be anything close to an editor. But this site is dying and nobody cares enough since this is a sinking ship anyway.

    Amusingly, I remember once reading an article with a racist reference, and a commenter asked the author to redact and take out the racist reference (Jason Moore’s “Bebe’s Kids”). PlanetWalls did the exact opposite – he deleted the comment, and accused the commenter of being racist by virtue of the fact of his requesting of the removal of a racist remark by a writer, and began name-calling the commenter and pretending like HE was the racist when in reality, PlanetWalls was in effect defending racism. All the while flaming the commenter. The tolerant left folks!

    I suppose the lying moron will pretend we are the same person or whatever to avoid the topic and act childish. Oh well. Feeble minds incapable of digesting truth will go through all sorts of mental gymnastics to salvage their fragile ego. We already know he lacks teeth; now we know he lacks brain cells too.

    Saibod, both reddit / MTGO

  20. I really enjoyed this article! You’re going to get backlash no matter what the content is if the topic is anything political, so just ignore the haters. Very creative justifications for playing the specific cards, solid A all around.

  21. Saibod, I vaguely remember that situation with Jason. I think he and the writers are missing the point. As you mentioned, Planetwalls is ok with being biased and rude about something this site isn’t even about. If this was a political site, I would expect such drivel but alienating a good portion of your audience for what they feel are a couple laughs is bad business and makes them all look bad. I remember in a previous Jesse article there was one negative trump comment. I remember thinking how unnecessary it was, but kind of let it slide. This was a blatant attack on Trump supporters. To Sibby, the guy who enjoyed the article, sure, there were a couple funny card references, but the issue is how nasty the writers were. I went back and looked, there was a whole section about how no one should vote for Trump because of the racism. If this isn’t ignorance I don’t know what is. Either the writer has no idea what the definition of racism is or they are just ignorant. The article didn’t just make fun of trump, it basically called him, and in effect his supporters, racist, ignorant, and devoid of morals. Once again, not a good way to get your point across.

  22. @ Anonymous

    Agreed 100 percent. You are very well spoken. Both PlanetWalls the race-baiter and Jesse T the Trump hater are clowns, and biased shills whose childish antics interfere with our ability to take them seriously. I guess this is why they earn a living off a video game while the rest of us have real jobs.

    And yes, Jason Moore made a racist reference, and his liberal Jewish friend A.J. Goldman aka PlanetWalls, defended it and attacked those who asked for its removal. Sick people.

    @ Sibby

    Again, you miss the point. But if you think it’s good entertainment on a Magic site of all places to say Trump wants to gas Muslims, to never vote for him, and to call his supporters racists and misogynists – wow, great humor – you are on the wrong site and probably should seek psychiatric help. Unless of course you are the Jesses under a pseudonym.

    Saibod, MTGO

  23. I don’t particularly feel the need to defend myself, the website, or the authors of this piece to the above posters. However, I do feel that this is as appropriate a forum as any to proclaim that — as an editor to a small MtG site, and simply as a fan of social gaming in general — I do not believe that there is any such thing as a purely apolitical space. Games are about thinking, laughing, strategizing, expressing emotion (of all kinds), performing, navigating, socializing and pretty much any other agential verb you could think of. In games the events of the wider political sphere occur in a microcosmic level, but not independently of the larger politic. Moreover, games — especially MtG — involve ethical sensitivity, both within the match (whether at the PT or on a kitchen table) and between matches. So specific political views aside, I do not think it is possible, or even laudable to attempt, to abstract completely from politics. Of course most MtG pieces are written without any explicit acknowledgement of, or focus on, political views. But it strikes me as problematic to cordon off this tiny realm of the Internet from politics as if to pretend that here, the world is and cannot be about the way people treat one another in life (a life that extends through and beyond the gaming landscape).

    The above piece used Magic as a language and humor as a method to critique in short form the political landscape, including the ridiculousness of the asymmetry between the frontrunners of the two major US political parties (interpret the term ‘asymmetry’ however you see fit). If you disagree or didn’t find it funny, fine! If you were so offended that you seek not to purchase from us because we have compensated authors for this piece without censoring it, that is also fine. Please continue to register your disapproval (or other opinions) in these comments and in other public fora if you like. Truly, I have enjoyed reading what you all have to say.

  24. More blabbering and blithering nonsense from the toothless editor. Shall we remind you that not only is your gaming website featuring a biased political hit-piece, but the author suggested that Trump wants to gas Muslims or put people in concentration camps? You don’t think this is worth an apology? Not sure how you begin with the fact that games require logical thinking, yes, and end up with a justification of calling for a genocide of people in an article about a game.

    Then again, you seemed to applaud Jason Moore’s racist reference and attack those who took issue with blatant racism in the comments. You are a sick individual.

    Funny you say that you enjoyed reading what we say, given that you previously disregarded completely what we said, ridiculed us, lied and said we are all the same person while linking to Trump’s twitter account (I hope it was a lie and not a legitimate belief) – if you want to lie, my advice is to do it better. This response is as nonchalant, apathetic, and ineffectual as your previous; but at least then you had the decency not to dress up and drown your contemptuous non-answer with word salad and platitude.

    To all the readers, stop supporting MTGO Academy unless you like editors treating you with disdain in lies, or authors on a gaming site getting political and talking about genocide.

    Saibod, reddit / mtgo

  25. On November 8th two warring factions will battle for supremacy, and if the wrong side wins, it could mean complete planar annihilation! No, it’s not the next Magic set, it’s the US presidential election! While your vote may not count (unless you live in Florida or Ohio), you can recreate the excitement of this contest of titans at your kitchen table with Two Jesses’ Duel Decks: Trump vs. Clinton!

    - lol? imagine they would have events like that? explain those decks to your friends only dude.

  26. Saibod: agree, it has nothing to do with mtg. I read this a couple days before. reread it today..I thought it’s gone by now.
    I was on this side before I moved here and don’t think anyone, especially americans, need this. mtg is above this.
    I also think the host is on crack.

  27. Count me in as another offended patron who is no longer supporting this site. The article wasn’t funny, clearly was biased and went too far, and hearing the editor’s pure disdain in defense of it, rude remarks, and refusing to apologize for the very clearly over-the-top statements in the article, are just too much for me.

  28. As a non-American I am always puzzled how serious people from the US debate political matters such as the presidential elections, almost as if there are attacked personally for the choices they make.
    I mean, seriously, who cares who becomes president anyway? It’s not like the political elite that is eligible to have a chance to become the next president really cares what YOU want and need. Most capitalist countries are run by big enterprises anyway so the whole debate is pointless.
    P.S.: I know that the comment is pretty cynical but look at the past and tell me where the elected presidential candidate made a difference in your life?!

  29. Why don’t we just rename this article to “Two Jesses Present– Political Propaganda, Lies, and Distortions” cuz that’s what this unfunny pile really is.
    this site sux

  30. It’s hilarious how many of you announce you are not supporting this site any longer and then come back to whine every day. You support a candidate who has insulted women, mexicans, the disabled, muslims, and countless others, then get all butt hurt about a “hit piece ” read by like one hundred people. Do you really think this article is going to swing one vote?? Pathetic, whining little so and does….:

  31. To the lunatic above me, maybe we just support the idea of keeping politics out of MTG? Also you seem to imply that voicing a complaint on this site is somehow supporting it in and of itself, or even that by stating our dissatisfaction to the unfunny article our intent is to sway votes by doing so? Hard to follow your illogical ideas.

    Clearly you didn’t think your incoherent comment fully through.

  32. If I decide not to support a site, I don’t come check it every few hours to see if anyone has responded to my last little bitch session.

  33. I don’t think you know what the word support means. Commenting does not mean I approve of what they do, nor does commenting magically put money in their pocket somehow with a store purchase.

    Only bitch here is you. Go back to supporting your criminal candidate under FBI investigation, lowlife.

  34. Since half the people in the comments section are claiming that they will ‘no longer support the website’ I thought I’d chime in.

    I stumbled across your site for the first time today, and this is the first article I’ve read. I just bookmarked your site, and will definitely be coming back. On top of that, I’m about to link this to a couple of friends of mine who will undoubtedly find this hilarious, particularly the trump deck!

    People need to lighten up. Then again the complainers are trump supporters, who have many, many things they need to work on. Like learning how to be a decent human being for instance.

    Thanks for the great article!

  35. I’m the guy who started this whole discussion. As I am watching the results roll in, I figured I’d kill some time and check out the comments on this. One thing I have noticed with this election is how nasty anti-trump people are. It’s like they would rather just name call then actually make a point. The above poster suggested that Trump supporters need to learn how to be decent human beings. Siraneon decided to try and state the typical “Trump is racist, sexist, etc.” bs. Not to mention the writers idiotic attacks. I know it happens, but I think us Trump supporters have been pretty respectful considering. That goes back to the original issue of this article. People need to have respect for people they disagree with and realize that making a little joke and flat out attacking people you disagree with are two different things. Though I disagree with Clinton and her supporters, I have respect for them and would never suggest they were heartless or many other names Trump supporters have been called.
    Also, to Siraneon, as mentioned, responding to comments is not supporting the site. I started a discussion and I plan on responding to people like you. I will check back once we find out for sure, and I don’t usually gloat, but I think it’s hilarious that the people that thought this was a joke and thought no one would vote for him are wrong. If nothing else he made it close.

  36. add this page to the stacks of internet data that historians will comb through one day to make sense of 2015-6

  37. @ Moriarty – Hey Jesse. Nice to see you support your own article under a pseudonym.

    Assuming you’re not a troll, just an idiot – again, you missed the point, which is not to mix politics with MTG. So attacking Trump supporters on an MTG site makes you look ridiculous.

    However, if you are willing to vote for a criminal under FBI investigation multiple times for different things, including a careless disregard for top secret information, I doubt you’d be intelligent enough to realize anything I just said.

    Edit: I wrote the above before election night but forgot to post. Now, after the election, where you can clearly see the American electorate sick of the lies and slander by the left, I can safely say: Suck it, stupid bitch.

  38. Delicious tears from SirAnon, PlanetWalls, the Jesses, and all the other vicious delusional Shillary supporters who have no arguments except calling the other side a racist or misogynist. Enjoy your U.S. departure and try hard not to cry too much by being on the wrong side of history – though I suspect your typical smug liberal SJW attitudes (which have clearly isolated you from the American electorate and reality) that you have all shown the entire time will prevent your ego from being too badly injured.

    What a lovely morning and afternoon. You guys agree?

    Donald J. Trump, the 45th President of the United States.

  39. To all the angry white men above:
    “I sense much fear in you! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
    – Yoda

  40. Leonardo, clearly you must have a psychological problem, because we have no reason to be angry – we’re the side that won, genius.

    Angry white men? Why are liberals always trying to project their own anger at losing, and trying to play racial / identity politics? Your mind is still stuck in the fictional universe of Star Wars and not the real one.

    President Donald J. Trump – get used to the phrase, SJW loser.

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